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    Business Fix Your Query in Seven(ish) Easy(ish) Steps with Patrick Hopkins

    We begin with me showing examples of bad query writing, then showing how to fix that bad query writing. The students then work on identifying and fixing examples of those problems in their queries. Finally, they show me what they started with and where they are now, and I work with them...
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    Discussion Welcome to my query intensive!

    Happy Sunday. Wherever you are, I hope you’re as safe and happy as can be. Yesterday, we left off with a large query. Today, we’re going to cut it. Here it is before: Rosewood Community College adjunct art professor Regina Packwood sets aside a dollar a pay period as savings. It's not much...
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    Discussion Welcome to my query intensive!

    Thanks for the tip :) I've been a bit busy with my kids, so I haven't been able to look at other courses. I did post it in the Q&A yesterday. I hope it's helped.
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    Discussion Welcome to my query intensive!

    A lot of the times I've worked with someone on a query, we've applied these lessons (and more), and they've had this "AHA!" moment regarding how they can drive action, use fewer and shorter words to hit harder, etc. It's like they level up as a writer, and a light turns on in their brains --...
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    Discussion Welcome to my query intensive!

    You're absolutely right -- they apply to fictionwriting and a lot more. Maybe not always, in every way, etc., but overall, yeah. My writing has improved significantly as I've figured out that hey, this thing I'm flagging in this person's query is something I should be flagging in my stuff too. <3
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    Discussion Welcome to my query intensive!

    Happy Saturday. Wherever you are, I hope you’re as safe and happy as can be. (Please note that unfortunately, I am not able to give individualized feedback on your queries in this intensive. This intensive is meant to introduce you to some basic concepts via the fixing of a sample problematic...
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    Question Q & A Thread

    Give me a bit to work this. My kids are home, so I'm not quite as able to focus :D
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    Question Q & A Thread

    Hey, Vickie :) I'm not sure I understand the question. What aspect(s) of the differences between the "from this" paragraph and the "to this" paragraph did you want me to look at? Or did you want information concerning something else? I definitely see differences, but I'm not sure what...
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    Question Q & A Thread

    Here is a more robust resource, which I developed to help people flag and fix basic problems in their queries: https://iampunha.medium.com/query-checklist-for-before-you-ask-me-for-help-e87b75266647 I hope it helps some of you get closer to having an agent-ready query. <3
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    Question Q & A Thread

    It's this: Discussion Welcome to my query intensive!
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    Question Q & A Thread

    I have emailed RJ with an option that might help us, so we'll see.
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    Discussion Welcome to my query intensive!

    This is an excellent question. I would be happy to look at queries and flag/suggest fixes for problems. I don't know if RJ had planned for that, but you are the second person to ask, and I'd love to know. Doing the finer work on 86 (one for each participant) queries in a weekend would be ...
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    Question Q & A Thread

    I'd be delighted to look at and provide feedback (not just on verbs) on whatever you'd like me to check out. RJ, should Vickie post it in here (where everyone can see it, which might not be optimal from her perspective), or talk with me privately, or what? I'm happy to work queries as part of...
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    Discussion Welcome to my query intensive!

    Hello, and welcome to my intensive on how to fix bad things in your query. I'm so glad you've joined us. I've been editing queries for years, helping writers get agents and pages requests. As part of that work, I've learned a lot about differences between great queries and not-great-yet...
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    All things writing this is a test post

    And that night, Mittens became Static Mittens.
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    All things writing this is a test post

    ::test-posting intensifies::
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    All things writing this is a test post

    this is my test post. there are many like it, but this one is mine. with me, my test post is useless. without my test post, I am useless. I don't remember the quote past there, and I'm not trying to emulate that movie much, so there goes that. anyway. let's hope this, my 456th (or something)...
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    Business Unbreak your query by fixing these five bad things with Patrick Hopkins

    In this intensive, you'll look at five common problems with bad queries and how to fix them. Unbreak your query by fixing these five bad things: Verbs that do nothing Nouns that should be verbs Modifiers that kill action by turning it into facts Telling language that should be showing Stakes...