CritPartnerMatch

Savvy Crew
  • Feb 4, 2020
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    Let's think about what makes a great opening and how we, as critters can make our partner's opening strong. Since we are not actually critiquing anything, pick up the book that you are reading right now and pretend you are critting this author.

    Start by putting on your reader hat. How does the opening grab you? Can you relate to the protagonist? Do you want to root for him or her? Are you ready to keep turning pages?

    Now, take a step back and use your writer knowledge to provide some more specific feedback. Take a look at the opening sentence. Does that sentence have the zing to hook the reader?

    Does the story start in an exciting place? Is something happening that puts the protagonist in some sort of conflict, internal or external? Do you have a sense that something major is at stake? (Keep in mind that conflict may evolve with the story. We don't need to know everything about the external and internal conflict on page one, but we do need to feel enough conflict to make us want to root for the character).

    We care about the story because we care about the person.

    The opening must give us a sense that the protagonist (or POV character) is in conflict. It may be physical danger. It could be a dangerous attraction. It could be a bill that must be paid and no money to pay it. There are as many potential conflicts as there are stories to tell. The important thing is that page one must give the reader some reason to care what happens next.

    The other thing you're looking for in the opening is language. We have Snoopy's classic:


    It was a dark and stormy night.

    This sentence might set up a sense of gloom, mystery or even danger because the words dark, stormy and night all have that sense. The problem with this sentence is the verb—was—BORING. And the subject—it--WHO CARES?

    Compare to:


    The crack of thunder drove a chill down Clarice's spine.

    Or



    The storm ripped through the black night.


    With these openings, we're not just talking about the weather in a passive way. The sentences are active and give us a sense that something is happening.



    Here's an example of one of my favorite openings.


    Christmas card. Sympathy card.
    Sympathy card. Christmas card.
    Sympathy card.



    This is the opening paragraph from, “Joy to the World,” a novella by Kate Freiman in the anthology STAR OF WONDER.


    What do you feel when you read this paragraph? What do you picture?

    This is an amazing opening because it has no description, no character is named and no action is described. In fact, it is a series of nouns.

    Yet, when I first read this, I pictured a person going through a pile of mail and probably crying. As the scene unfolds we learn that the heroine’s brother has just died in a tragic plane crash. He is her only family and they were very close as they lived together and ran the family business together. But we don’t need all those details up front—that series of nouns has already captured our empathy.

    When I was writing my first novel, I knew that my western historical was the tried and true "save the ranch" story. The unique feature of Loving Mercy was the fact that Mercy is a very tough, young woman who is running the ranch in a day when few women were boss. I wanted to capture the sense of role reversal from the opening line.

    I finally settled on one word. “Ya!”

    Now that word couldn’t stand alone, so here is the first paragraph:


    "Ya!” Mercy Clarke's yell carried over the rumble of hooves pounding earth. She snapped her whip at a dawdling steer. The creature bolted into the herd.
    I believe that short paragraph creates a mood for the entire novel to follow.


    Openings must be clear and smooth. If you stumble when reading the opening paragraph, let the author know. Often simpler, more straightforward language is also stronger. Beautiful prose can work too, but it is much harder to pull off.

    When reviewing the opening look for:

    • Something happening.
    • Conflict that gives us a rooting interest in the protagonist.
    • Unnecessary backstory that bogs the story down.
    • A gut reaction that makes you want to turn the page to find out what happens next.

    When suggesting improvements consider starting in a new place. For example, you may notice that the real action starts on page 3 and feel the opening would be stronger if it starts there.

    Also, consider whether the language lacks punch. Sometimes simply breaking the opening sentence into two or three shorter sentences will give the opening more impact. Other times providing more active verbs will make the opening more powerful.
     
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