Lecture Lesson for the Week of April 1st, 2019
- Thread starter Sunny Irene Roth
- Start date
1. Do you find that when you are just about to sit down to write you have so many other things to do except write, such as organize files or books?
I've been doing this a lot more than I should lately. I'm hoping that CampNaNo will help me get my head in the game. I think part of the problem is that I only have the one block of writing time, but I'm not sure how long it will take. C's sleep has been better the past week or so, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to wake up before him to deal with administrative things and assignments. I need to get my head back in the writing space as his sleep improves so does mine and that helps I’m doing this on my phone and my screens touch screen isn’t wanting to let me get to the punctuation keyboard
2. What steps can you take not to waste time? Can you make use of any of the tips suggested in Habit #1?
I’ve been thinking about your comment that I need to compartmentalize more, and I think that I need to work on batching my non-writing tasks outside of naptime. If I’m lucky, before C wakes up in the morning or in the instances he’s playing independently and also i need to encourage independent play more.
Also, I really enjoy three 4thewords website and the gamification of writing. I’m doing this activity on the site on my phone right now, but using the site does introduce the desire to go check how many quests I’ve got going at any one time and start my day by checking into the forums or the quest book. If I can’t get that under control, it may be time to drop that and start writing on an app again instead of a web based platform. Either scrivener or maybe Ulysses. So, either set up everything ahead of time so that way my writing time is only that ornswitch to scrivener or Ulysses.
That will also help get rid of the urge, I think to check into other websites when I write since I won’t already be online. Hmm... but beating monsters with my wordcount also helps me push to hit a higher wordcount when I’m writing it’s like a word war ticker at the bottom of my screen with the wordcount goal right there.
. 3. Do you feel sorry for yourself once in a while? Why do you indulge in self-pity when you do?
I do. In particular, as a real estate appraiser my husband meets a lot of people who tell him that their family watches their little ones x days a week or grandparents who literally quit their jobs and moved cross country because “it’s a family shame to need to put a child in daycare” and we tend to go down the rabbit hole of if only our family would help more, they’re half hour away and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to watch c for us.
That’s not fair to C, our family, or us.
That said, I think I need to learn to get better at asking for help and getting C to play independently.
I think we go down the self pity rabbit hole most often when my husband meets someone who has done this or has a family member who has done this. It's a jealousy thing.
4. Can you use any of the tips to avoid self-pity in habit #2?
I do the gratitude list and that helps a lot with my mental state, before I started doing that daily I was getting into a very dark place. And i am grateful for the relationship that C and I have, but I think maybe the focus on things I can control habit #4 might be more helpful here for me than the questions from habit #2. I can’t make our families have the resources to watch C or my mom to get rid of the dogs that snap at him at her house for me to feel comfortable with her watching him there, but I can focus on what I can do during his nap time and what I can do during his waking times.
5. Do you shy away from change? Why?
I don’t think so. I do like routine in some things, but I generally work hard to make my goals a reality.
I have been struggling with the transition from breadwinner to stay at home mom though. That change has been particularly tough for me because it's a major change of identity. I'm still struggling with it and well, I guess I just need to figure out how to accept that change. I am working on that and have been journaling around it, but mostly, I've been focusing my efforts on getting my fiction going so that way I can start earning some money again and helping out more financially that way.
I guess I'm resisting that change in particular because I have always been a breadwinner and my grandparents raised me to be able to stand on my own feet and I feel like I'm just letting Steven/the rest of the team handle that for me right now and so that's a struggle of identity and well... I'm working on this one.
6. Do you focus on things that you can control in your writing career? What are some things that you can control? What is not in your control?
I need to work on this one, as I mentioned above. Not just in my writing career, but maybe in life because, well, it's all interconnected.
I can't control how often anyone but me watches C, but I can control what I do with the time that he's asleep or occupied with something that isn't me.
I can't make my mom get rid of her little dogs who snap at C or make her watch him in our house, but I can ask if she could come watch him at our house.
I can't control how many words I write in a session, but I can control my focus and if I am actually in an editor on the relevant project or if I am off on some other website or facebook.
I can't control how many people buy my books when I publish, but I can control how polished my books are and how well crafted. I can put together the best product that I can and make it as polished and professional as I can. I can also control what I do to market my book and find the right audience.
I've been doing this a lot more than I should lately. I'm hoping that CampNaNo will help me get my head in the game. I think part of the problem is that I only have the one block of writing time, but I'm not sure how long it will take. C's sleep has been better the past week or so, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to wake up before him to deal with administrative things and assignments. I need to get my head back in the writing space as his sleep improves so does mine and that helps I’m doing this on my phone and my screens touch screen isn’t wanting to let me get to the punctuation keyboard
2. What steps can you take not to waste time? Can you make use of any of the tips suggested in Habit #1?
I’ve been thinking about your comment that I need to compartmentalize more, and I think that I need to work on batching my non-writing tasks outside of naptime. If I’m lucky, before C wakes up in the morning or in the instances he’s playing independently and also i need to encourage independent play more.
Also, I really enjoy three 4thewords website and the gamification of writing. I’m doing this activity on the site on my phone right now, but using the site does introduce the desire to go check how many quests I’ve got going at any one time and start my day by checking into the forums or the quest book. If I can’t get that under control, it may be time to drop that and start writing on an app again instead of a web based platform. Either scrivener or maybe Ulysses. So, either set up everything ahead of time so that way my writing time is only that ornswitch to scrivener or Ulysses.
That will also help get rid of the urge, I think to check into other websites when I write since I won’t already be online. Hmm... but beating monsters with my wordcount also helps me push to hit a higher wordcount when I’m writing it’s like a word war ticker at the bottom of my screen with the wordcount goal right there.
. 3. Do you feel sorry for yourself once in a while? Why do you indulge in self-pity when you do?
I do. In particular, as a real estate appraiser my husband meets a lot of people who tell him that their family watches their little ones x days a week or grandparents who literally quit their jobs and moved cross country because “it’s a family shame to need to put a child in daycare” and we tend to go down the rabbit hole of if only our family would help more, they’re half hour away and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to watch c for us.
That’s not fair to C, our family, or us.
That said, I think I need to learn to get better at asking for help and getting C to play independently.
I think we go down the self pity rabbit hole most often when my husband meets someone who has done this or has a family member who has done this. It's a jealousy thing.
4. Can you use any of the tips to avoid self-pity in habit #2?
I do the gratitude list and that helps a lot with my mental state, before I started doing that daily I was getting into a very dark place. And i am grateful for the relationship that C and I have, but I think maybe the focus on things I can control habit #4 might be more helpful here for me than the questions from habit #2. I can’t make our families have the resources to watch C or my mom to get rid of the dogs that snap at him at her house for me to feel comfortable with her watching him there, but I can focus on what I can do during his nap time and what I can do during his waking times.
5. Do you shy away from change? Why?
I don’t think so. I do like routine in some things, but I generally work hard to make my goals a reality.
I have been struggling with the transition from breadwinner to stay at home mom though. That change has been particularly tough for me because it's a major change of identity. I'm still struggling with it and well, I guess I just need to figure out how to accept that change. I am working on that and have been journaling around it, but mostly, I've been focusing my efforts on getting my fiction going so that way I can start earning some money again and helping out more financially that way.
I guess I'm resisting that change in particular because I have always been a breadwinner and my grandparents raised me to be able to stand on my own feet and I feel like I'm just letting Steven/the rest of the team handle that for me right now and so that's a struggle of identity and well... I'm working on this one.
6. Do you focus on things that you can control in your writing career? What are some things that you can control? What is not in your control?
I need to work on this one, as I mentioned above. Not just in my writing career, but maybe in life because, well, it's all interconnected.
I can't control how often anyone but me watches C, but I can control what I do with the time that he's asleep or occupied with something that isn't me.
I can't make my mom get rid of her little dogs who snap at C or make her watch him in our house, but I can ask if she could come watch him at our house.
I can't control how many words I write in a session, but I can control my focus and if I am actually in an editor on the relevant project or if I am off on some other website or facebook.
I can't control how many people buy my books when I publish, but I can control how polished my books are and how well crafted. I can put together the best product that I can and make it as polished and professional as I can. I can also control what I do to market my book and find the right audience.
Upvote
0
Hi Mel,
Please find my comments below.
GREAT job for doing all the self-assessment! That is always hard but necessary!
~ Irene
1. Do you find that when you are just about to sit down to write you have so many other things to do except write, such as organize files or books?
I've been doing this a lot more than I should lately. I'm hoping that CampNaNo will help me get my head in the game. I think part of the problem is that I only have the one block of writing time, but I'm not sure how long it will take. C's sleep has been better the past week or so, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to wake up before him to deal with administrative things and assignments. I need to get my head back in the writing space as his sleep improves so does mine and that helps I’m doing this on my phone and my screens touch screen isn’t wanting to let me get to the punctuation keyboard That can be so hard Mel! Its great that you are doing some self-assessing. Finding time can be so hard. I hope C starts sleeping better. That is my prayer for you.
2. What steps can you take not to waste time? Can you make use of any of the tips suggested in Habit #1?
I’ve been thinking about your comment that I need to compartmentalize more, and I think that I need to work on batching my non-writing tasks outside of naptime. GREAT idea! If I’m lucky, before C wakes up in the morning or in the instances he’s playing independently and also i need to encourage independent play more. Yes that would be a great idea!
Also, I really enjoy three 4thewords website and the gamification of writing. I’m doing this activity on the site on my phone right now, but using the site does introduce the desire to go check how many quests I’ve got going at any one time and start my day by checking into the forums or the quest book. If I can’t get that under control, it may be time to drop that and start writing on an app again instead of a web based platform. I use a platform where I don't have the internet when I'm writing. I find that is best for optimal productivity. Either scrivener or maybe Ulysses. So, either set up everything ahead of time so that way my writing time is only that ornswitch to scrivener or Ulysses.
That will also help get rid of the urge, I think to check into other websites when I write since I won’t already be online. Hmm... but beating monsters with my wordcount also helps me push to hit a higher wordcount when I’m writing it’s like a word war ticker at the bottom of my screen with the wordcount goal right there. GREAT idea!
3. Do you feel sorry for yourself once in a while? Why do you indulge in self-pity when you do?
I do. In particular, as a real estate appraiser my husband meets a lot of people who tell him that their family watches their little ones x days a week or grandparents who literally quit their jobs and moved cross country because “it’s a family shame to need to put a child in daycare” and we tend to go down the rabbit hole of if only our family would help more, they’re half hour away and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to watch c for us.
That’s not fair to C, our family, or us.
That said, I think I need to learn to get better at asking for help and getting C to play independently. That can be so hard. But it is doable! I know you can do it! The first time is the hardest. Then everything else will be easy.
I think we go down the self pity rabbit hole most often when my husband meets someone who has done this or has a family member who has done this. It's a jealousy thing. Comparison is awful. We all need to be more mindful of that and try not to go there.
4. Can you use any of the tips to avoid self-pity in habit #2?
I do the gratitude list and that helps a lot with my mental state, before I started doing that daily I was getting into a very dark place. GREAT idea! And i am grateful for the relationship that C and I have, but I think maybe the focus on things I can control habit #4 might be more helpful here for me than the questions from habit #2. GREAT!!! Yes, I think so too. I can’t make our families have the resources to watch C or my mom to get rid of the dogs that snap at him at her house for me to feel comfortable with her watching him there, but I can focus on what I can do during his nap time and what I can do during his waking times. GREAT!! These are all things out of your control.
5. Do you shy away from change? Why?
I don’t think so. I do like routine in some things, but I generally work hard to make my goals a reality. GREAT!!
I have been struggling with the transition from breadwinner to stay at home mom though. That change has been particularly tough for me because it's a major change of identity. I'm still struggling with it and well, I guess I just need to figure out how to accept that change. I am working on that and have been journaling around it, GREAT! but mostly, I've been focusing my efforts on getting my fiction going so that way I can start earning some money again and helping out more financially that way. GREAT!
I guess I'm resisting that change in particular because I have always been a breadwinner and my grandparents raised me to be able to stand on my own feet and I feel like I'm just letting Steven/the rest of the team handle that for me right now and so that's a struggle of identity and well... I'm working on this one.
6. Do you focus on things that you can control in your writing career? What are some things that you can control? What is not in your control?
I need to work on this one, as I mentioned above. Not just in my writing career, but maybe in life because, well, it's all interconnected. GREAT!
I can't control how often anyone but me watches C, but I can control what I do with the time that he's asleep or occupied with something that isn't me. Very true!
I can't make my mom get rid of her little dogs who snap at C or make her watch him in our house, Oh, I'm So Sorry about that!!! but I can ask if she could come watch him at our house.
I can't control how many words I write in a session, but I can control my focus and if I am actually in an editor on the relevant project or if I am off on some other website or facebook. You're right! You just have to try not to get taken by your negative voices. Try doing a centering meditation before you start to write perhaps.
I can't control how many people buy my books when I publish, but I can control how polished my books are and how well crafted. I can put together the best product that I can and make it as polished and professional as I can. I can also control what I do to market my book and find the right audience. GREAT! These are all great things to keep in mind. Perhaps type them out and hang them above your writing station.
Please find my comments below.
GREAT job for doing all the self-assessment! That is always hard but necessary!
~ Irene
1. Do you find that when you are just about to sit down to write you have so many other things to do except write, such as organize files or books?
I've been doing this a lot more than I should lately. I'm hoping that CampNaNo will help me get my head in the game. I think part of the problem is that I only have the one block of writing time, but I'm not sure how long it will take. C's sleep has been better the past week or so, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to wake up before him to deal with administrative things and assignments. I need to get my head back in the writing space as his sleep improves so does mine and that helps I’m doing this on my phone and my screens touch screen isn’t wanting to let me get to the punctuation keyboard That can be so hard Mel! Its great that you are doing some self-assessing. Finding time can be so hard. I hope C starts sleeping better. That is my prayer for you.
2. What steps can you take not to waste time? Can you make use of any of the tips suggested in Habit #1?
I’ve been thinking about your comment that I need to compartmentalize more, and I think that I need to work on batching my non-writing tasks outside of naptime. GREAT idea! If I’m lucky, before C wakes up in the morning or in the instances he’s playing independently and also i need to encourage independent play more. Yes that would be a great idea!
Also, I really enjoy three 4thewords website and the gamification of writing. I’m doing this activity on the site on my phone right now, but using the site does introduce the desire to go check how many quests I’ve got going at any one time and start my day by checking into the forums or the quest book. If I can’t get that under control, it may be time to drop that and start writing on an app again instead of a web based platform. I use a platform where I don't have the internet when I'm writing. I find that is best for optimal productivity. Either scrivener or maybe Ulysses. So, either set up everything ahead of time so that way my writing time is only that ornswitch to scrivener or Ulysses.
That will also help get rid of the urge, I think to check into other websites when I write since I won’t already be online. Hmm... but beating monsters with my wordcount also helps me push to hit a higher wordcount when I’m writing it’s like a word war ticker at the bottom of my screen with the wordcount goal right there. GREAT idea!
3. Do you feel sorry for yourself once in a while? Why do you indulge in self-pity when you do?
I do. In particular, as a real estate appraiser my husband meets a lot of people who tell him that their family watches their little ones x days a week or grandparents who literally quit their jobs and moved cross country because “it’s a family shame to need to put a child in daycare” and we tend to go down the rabbit hole of if only our family would help more, they’re half hour away and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to watch c for us.
That’s not fair to C, our family, or us.
That said, I think I need to learn to get better at asking for help and getting C to play independently. That can be so hard. But it is doable! I know you can do it! The first time is the hardest. Then everything else will be easy.
I think we go down the self pity rabbit hole most often when my husband meets someone who has done this or has a family member who has done this. It's a jealousy thing. Comparison is awful. We all need to be more mindful of that and try not to go there.
4. Can you use any of the tips to avoid self-pity in habit #2?
I do the gratitude list and that helps a lot with my mental state, before I started doing that daily I was getting into a very dark place. GREAT idea! And i am grateful for the relationship that C and I have, but I think maybe the focus on things I can control habit #4 might be more helpful here for me than the questions from habit #2. GREAT!!! Yes, I think so too. I can’t make our families have the resources to watch C or my mom to get rid of the dogs that snap at him at her house for me to feel comfortable with her watching him there, but I can focus on what I can do during his nap time and what I can do during his waking times. GREAT!! These are all things out of your control.
5. Do you shy away from change? Why?
I don’t think so. I do like routine in some things, but I generally work hard to make my goals a reality. GREAT!!
I have been struggling with the transition from breadwinner to stay at home mom though. That change has been particularly tough for me because it's a major change of identity. I'm still struggling with it and well, I guess I just need to figure out how to accept that change. I am working on that and have been journaling around it, GREAT! but mostly, I've been focusing my efforts on getting my fiction going so that way I can start earning some money again and helping out more financially that way. GREAT!
I guess I'm resisting that change in particular because I have always been a breadwinner and my grandparents raised me to be able to stand on my own feet and I feel like I'm just letting Steven/the rest of the team handle that for me right now and so that's a struggle of identity and well... I'm working on this one.
6. Do you focus on things that you can control in your writing career? What are some things that you can control? What is not in your control?
I need to work on this one, as I mentioned above. Not just in my writing career, but maybe in life because, well, it's all interconnected. GREAT!
I can't control how often anyone but me watches C, but I can control what I do with the time that he's asleep or occupied with something that isn't me. Very true!
I can't make my mom get rid of her little dogs who snap at C or make her watch him in our house, Oh, I'm So Sorry about that!!! but I can ask if she could come watch him at our house.
I can't control how many words I write in a session, but I can control my focus and if I am actually in an editor on the relevant project or if I am off on some other website or facebook. You're right! You just have to try not to get taken by your negative voices. Try doing a centering meditation before you start to write perhaps.
I can't control how many people buy my books when I publish, but I can control how polished my books are and how well crafted. I can put together the best product that I can and make it as polished and professional as I can. I can also control what I do to market my book and find the right audience. GREAT! These are all great things to keep in mind. Perhaps type them out and hang them above your writing station.
Upvote
0