Dream On
Marcy hummed the beginning of Aerosmith's Dream on as it blasted through the radio causing the compact car to rock along to the tune. Her throat constricted before her vision blurbed and her eyes stung with the salty tears.
She took a deep breath willing her thoughts to settle.
"Just a few more hours and I'll be in Los Angeles and then I can let my world fall apart," she muttered to herself. The lump eased and the tears nearly stopped. But when she heard the lyrics, you got to lose to know how to win.
Marcy swerved off the road to the safety of the shoulder and let out a loud sob as she replayed her conversation with Shawn.
"I'm sorry MM, but I can't leave at least not now, and maybe never," he had grumbled the last part.
Marcy would have thought it was one of his jokes except for the fact that his shoulders drooped and his dark eyes wouldn't meet hers.
"But we've planned this all year long. We even bought this car." She stroked the mustard yellow car that stood beside them. It had seen better days, but it would take them to their destination according to Shawn.
"Your plans don't have to change," he extended the keys to her.
She shook her head and backed away from his hand.
He looked up at the clear sky and then dipped his head down. "My family needs me. My future is here on this farm."
"What about all your dreams? I know you can have a future in the movies," she swallowed the sting in her eyes, not wanting him to see her cry. "Little Players got a standing ovation. Even grouchy Mr. Edwin cried at the end."
Shawn's silence gave her hope. Maybe she could change his mind.
"Your movies move people. They give hope."
It had been working with Shawn on his movie that had gotten her through losing her dad.
"They are just words on a paper," he itched his nose. It was one of his tells for when he was lying.
"Together we give them life on the screen." His gaze fell on her for a split second. She saw a glimmer of hope before he closed his eyes.
"The food we grow here feeds people. Words are just words."
Marcy moved closer to Shawn. He couldn't mean it, not when he spent any free moment creating stories and characters.
"I've always been grateful to those that tend the land, but you aren't a farmer, you're a screenwriter," she stood next to him looking up as she did.
Shawn shook his head slowly.
"Please, I need you. We are partners in film." She reached for his hand realizing that she wanted to be more than friends.
"We are going to lose the farm. My dad needs my help." Shawn took her hand and placed the keys in it.
"Please come with me," she whispered.
"You are the strongest person I know."
Only because you were next to me, she thought.
"I expect to see your name as the movie credits roll on the screen."
He leaned over and kissed her cheek and then whispered, "directed by Marcy Dolly Mercedes."
Shawn left her standing by their car as he vanished into the pastures on the hills.
The lyrics pulled her back. Her hands gripped the steering wheel.
"I'll become a famous director so I can make your screenwriting dreams come true."
The road ahead became clear. As Marcy pulled out of the shoulder, she sang, "dream on, dream on, dream until your dreams come true."
Five Years Later...
The letter laid on Shawn's overcrowded desk. He traced Marcy's name with his finger, noting two things, she still had one of the finest penmanship that he had seen and that her last name hadn't changed.
"She's probably too busy being a big shot director to be married," he scoffed as he petted Billy Wilder, his mix breed mutt. The dog placed his head on Shawn's thigh and looked up.
"I miss her too, but we can't be selfish." He meant it as a reminder to himself, knowing that the dog Marcy had baptized after one of the directors she admired, couldn't understand him.
Shawn still didn't understand why Marcy wasn't a fan of modern big gun directors like Scorsese or Spielberg. She was always a weird one, he smiled.
Marcy kept writing him, but he only wrote back once in a while. It wasn't only because he was busy working on the farm, he just didn't know what to write. How could something as mundane as saving a calf compare to the excitement of Hollywood? It couldn't.
"We need some fresh air don't we, Billy," he stood up and grabbed his stetson. If only Marcy could see him now, she probably wouldn't recognize him. Shawn wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. He was stronger, the land made sure of that.
The pastures shined like the emerald ring he had bought Marcy but never given her. It was buried somewhere in his wardrobe. Like my dreams. He shook the thought away. There was no point in having regrets. Most days he could appreciate the beauty and simplicity of his life.
He had planned to give her the ring once they made it to Hollywood. It was meant to be a promise ring. That was before his dad got sick and he had taken over the farm. Shawn could still remember kissing her forehead when he really wanted to kiss her lips. But he knew if he had, he would have asked her to stay.
"Marcy deserves someone better than a farmer," he petted Billy. Although the picturing Marcy with one of those fancy actors made his heartbeat speed up. "Especially a flailing farmer."
Even with him working from before daybreak to sunset the farm was barely scraping by. There were too many factors outside of his control. He was in awe of how his dad had managed for so long.
The memory of the night before his life changed played in his head.
"Why don't we just sell the damn thing?" Shawn wanted to go to Hollywood with Marcy. He could see his future there.
His dad chuckled, with his deep voice. Shawn had expected him to be mad.
"Son, do you know that one seed can produce so much food? When I was in second grade I planted one lima bean as my science experiment and that tiny seed gave me eight pods," his dad smiled.
"I don't get it."
"What we plant feeds people. That's important. I may never get an award or a trophy for it, but it does matter."
Shawn nodded.
"You don't need to stay, you can go and I'm sure I'll manage." His dad's eyes closed as he said the last part. With his dad's heart condition Shawn knew that his family needed him.
He sighed as he pictured his way out of their rural town close in front of him. "I'll stay."
And he had, but it wasn't enough to make the farm thrive. So now he only had one option left.
"Old Billy, I'm going to have to have to tell Marcy I got engaged."
