CharactersClasses & WorkshopsCraftDescription/ SettingWriting Life

Deep Point of View with Melinda Williams

As authors, to empower our stories, we must learn tricks to take our character and reader deeper into the characters head.

Tips to create deep point of view:

  1. Take those nasty tags out.

These tags are like little bumps which reminds the reader that he is not actually in the story. Instead, use action, your character’s body language, character’s emotion.

By removing these pesky tags it will make your story come to life. By doing this, you will make the story to life.


Out of Deep POV: “I don’t feel good,” she said.

What does this mean? Who knows.

In Deep POV: “I don’t feel good,” she said, throwing up all over the floor. Her face turned ashen and she ran to the bathroom.

By this, we see the bigger picture. She is sick. It reveals how sick she is, leaving no doubt.

  1. Remove thought words.

Those nasty on filler words we use too often. The reason for this is because they are telling words. They hamper and slow down our stories. It makes the reader pull from the character and story.


Out of Deep POV

He felt the urge to scratch his entire body. He wondered if he was having a reaction.

In this example, the reader is left to wonder. The reader hears the character’s thoughts but its telling the reader not showing.

In Deep POV

The urge to scratch became overwhelming. He glanced down and seen the rash developing. That was it. He knew he was having an allergic reaction.

We know without a doubt now that he is having a reaction.

  1. Know your POV character

You are the creator of your character, but do you really know them? Here are some things to pay closer attention to so you might understand your character better.

  • How does she act around others
  • How does she sit in a chair
  • Take note to her body language as she speaks to others
  • What does she want more than anything
  • Why is what you want so important
  • How important is all the people in her life

Use the character traits handout. Get to know your character. Show your reader instead of telling.

  1. Know your character’s view of the world.

As we do, our character’s view of the world comes from the life they have lived and their experiences. No matter what is going on in our life, if we have experienced it before then our reactions would be different than if we had never experienced it. To understand this you can bring the reader true emotions of the character and place them right into the story.

Words that reveal you are telling are:

  •          To be
  •          Was
  •          Were
  •          Are
  •          Is

To know you are showing remember this:

You will be using most of the senses such as: touch, taste, sight, smell, sound.

Deep POV

“Walking into the school, the huge globe caught her eye, but then the walls plastered with maps took her breath away.”

This is an example of deep POV. It reveals what the character see’s. If you as the writer can place yourself there then the reader can also.

Nothing can say more about your character than his/her actions. When writing Deep POV think of it as you are the character but you act it out how your character would.

Good idea

Make it a habit to read your work aloud. Doing this you will be able to catch anything that may sound awkward.

I hope each of you have a better understanding of how to show and how to tell.

Show more:

  •          To put emotion into the story
  •          Place the reader into the story
  •          Reveal the scene
  •          Make sure the five senses are used
  •          Reveal the character through emotions

Tell more:

  •          To make sentences tighter and shorten word count
  •          To reveal the mood
  •          Let the readers know the info is not as important
  •          Smooth the story

Remember to mix show and tell but not in same sentence or paragraph….use balance.

Finding the right words helps you to show and tell. Try not to use clichés.

Ask these questions and make sure you cover each…


  •          Are all the senses used?
  •          Am I sure, I showed enough?
  •          Does the action of the character reveal how he feels?
  •          Double-check your wording?
  •          Do I have enough showing in each scene?


  •          Are there words you can take out to make the sentence shorter?
  •          Are there any sentences that don’t make sense? Read aloud….
  •          Check and see if you can take our words and make sentence make sense.
  •          Does each sentence make sense?

*****Use action verbs as much as possible*****

  • Deep Point of View Tricks and Tips
  • Deep POV: Similes and Metaphors

Remember with DPOV, you want the reader to dive deep into your character and experience everything they do.

So, here are some things you can do to make this happen:

  • Don’t name the emotion. What I am saying, when a reader reads that somebody is angry or in fear by just reading the word they do not experience it you have to show them. The reader has to feel the sensations just as we do in real life.
  • Throw telling verbs out: These words are expressions like “he saw,” “she wondered,” etc. Telling words makes the reader feel distance from the character. Therefore, to take them into your character show them. Leave those annoying expressions out of your writing.

Character reactions:

  • Physical gut reaction
  • How they think
  • Dialogue
  • Action

These four steps will lead your reader into seeing and feeling what the character’s head and stay there. You do not have to go with all four, pick and choose which one you would like to go with or use a couple, etc. It’s up to you as the writer.

I would advise to stay far away from clichés and use dramatic imagery and action verbs to stay in DPOV.

Make your reader search for clues and describe from the POV of your character. Remember the worksheet I handed out on character traits. Use it. Know your characters inside and out.

Take your character to a movie but let the character show what is going on with DPOV. Show action and it will be easier staying in DPOV.

One last thing on this, when you are writing, then write. Once you have your first draft done then go back in and work on DPOV.

Deep POV: Similes and Metaphors.

Writing DPOV and using similes and metaphors are tough but can be difficult.


“Robert sat, deep in thought. Jessica preyed on his mind, a vengeful fury pursuing him to the ends of the earth and leaving him no peace. Like Orestes, he felt helpless to fend her off.”

Now let me explain what I did:

In the first sentence, you have Jessica in the metaphor of a Fury from the Greek myth of Orestes and the Furies. In the second, Robert compares himself to Orestes in a simile, using the preposition “like.”

[box] BIO:

Melinda WilliamsMelinda lives in the majestic mountains of Arizona. She is a published author of romance, mystery, and paranormal. She also writes articles for Southern Writers Magazine, Native Hoop Magazine, and a former editor for CM Wright Author Services, owner of Red Rock Author Services. When she isn’t creating a suspense story with captivating characters, she can be found reading, writing articles for a magazine, or spending time with her husband Vernon and her kids, Shaelee and Erik.

As a young child, she loved reading and writing. To her own surprise, she started writing and creating her very own world, a place where she could go and lose herself with just a pen and paper.

She grew up with the fascination of the American Indian. Her love for them grew rapidly as she read about them from my history book. She wanted to show, in her writings, of the proud people that the American Indians truly are. They show honor and respect for all living things. If she can capture just a small portion of that in her writings then that would be an added bonus for her.



RJ Garside is the wearer of many hats. She's the proud momma of three devilishly adorable little boys. Mature student extraordinaire. By day, she can ...