How to Handle Rejection
July 5th, 2021
Lesson One
July 5th, 2021
Lesson One
This month, I will be focusing on how to handle criticism and rejection. It is a topic dear to my heart because I spent the first ten years of my writing life dreading them. Yet, they are part of a writer’s life. So, we have to learn how to deal with them the best we can.
Let’s face it, none of us like to receive rejections. Yet, sixty to seventy percent of manuscripts are routinely rejected by publishers when they are sent out. The reasons for the rejection are numerous, and they are most times not personal. Here are a few typical reasons why your manuscript is rejected.
• Your work doesn’t fit into the publications or publishers’ guidelines.
• There were other manuscripts submitted on a similar topic and they can only publish one article in that genre.
• They are bombarded with submissions and can only accept a given number of articles or stories.
• Your style of writing doesn’t fit their magazine or publication.
• Your slant for the topic or how you resolve a conflict in short stories isn’t one that the publication wants to publish.
• The editor is tired or in a bad mood.
• The editor has biases of his/her own about a topic or story.
Thus, as you can see, most of the reasons for rejection mentioned above are beyond your control. And it has nothing to do with you personally.
Yet, many writers are paralyzed by criticism from other potential publishers. However, we can’t control what others say about our work. We can only control how we react to another person’s comments of our work. To act in an assertive manner, we need to learn how to deal with criticism and rejection without allowing it to destroy our creativity and self-esteem. That way, if someone criticizes and rejects our work, we won’t get sent into a tailspin of negative thinking, further undermining our self-esteem.
Here are a few tips to ensure you don’t allow criticism to destroy you.
1. Dissociate from the criticism so that you could view the comments on your manuscript from a position of strength. This can help you to gain perspective on your manuscript.
2. Just read the comments about your manuscripts or listen to them if an editor contacts you directly about your manuscript. Don’t try to respond right away or defend your work. This is usually a sign of weakness. Instead, show patience and forbearance. That usually shows professionalism.
3. Ask clarifying questions if it is appropriate. Avoid filling the conversation with defensive chatter. Instead, ask questions by trying to sort out any ambiguities or points you don’t agree with by getting whoever is criticizing your work to restate their point if need be. If an editor is asking for revisions, be sure you know precisely what is being asked of you.
4. If you feel the criticism is unfair, perhaps re-read the letter later or ask for a follow-up phone appointment with your editor.
It can be difficult to take criticism professionally. But if you can see the criticism as something you can learn from, this can go a long way towards controlling your negative emotions around criticism. And it will empower you as well.
So, why is rejection and criticism considered something to be dreaded the enemy that it is for some writers? Again, I think there are many reasons why this may occur, and all of them are unique for each writer. But usually beginning writers feel very vulnerable some of these vulnerabilities are personal to the writer. But many writers are very self-critical and unsure of themselves. In addition, many beginning writers are always comparing themselves with others. All these things can make writers feel even worse about rejection.
So, if any writer experiences any of the above negatives, (s)he will probably be dread getting rejection letters. The trick is to get to the bottom of these negative feeling ahead of time so that self-criticism and self-doubt doesn’t cripple productivity and output. This can be achieved through compassionate self-understanding.
That's it for now.
Until next time!
Irene S. Roth
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