Do you know yourself? Do you know what values and beliefs you hold dear to you? Unless you do, you probably won’t be able to assert your boundaries.
This is because your boundaries are about your identity. Unless you know your identity, you can’t know where you end and where another begins because you don’t quite know who you are.
Therefore, to set a boundary, you must understand and know what you need to be your best. In other words, you must understand who you are as a person, and all the unique shapes that make up your personality, values, and like as well as dislikes.
Most of us who have boundary issues have a difficult time figuring out these aspects about ourselves. We drift and flounder around. We believe we’re being violate by others and we are frustrated, but we don’t have enough resilience to stand up to the demands of others. This can cause a lot of difficulty for us when we are trying to assert our boundaries.
Here are a few steps you can utilize to get to know yourself more.
1. Ask yourself who you are and what you stand for. Your identity informs your values, and your values will inform your boundaries.
For example, if you know that you’re a kind and compassionate person, then you will probably ascertain that one of your values is to protect and care for animals. This may, in turn, tell you that one of your boundaries is that you won’t tolerate anyone hurting your pets.
Now if someone decides to kick your dog, you will tell them in no uncertain terms that nobody in this house hurts your dog and if they do it again, they will no longer be welcome into your home.
2. Get a clear idea of your identity and assert it in real situations. Also, prioritize your beliefs and values. For instance, if honesty is more important than charity, then assert that value more often. Then if someone continuously lies to you, you may have to make some important decisions about continuing the relationship.
3. Get into the habit of asserting your values with everyone. The more often you do it, the easier it will become. But expect it to be hard in the beginning. Just patiently persevere.
4. Part of being a writer is that you get to explore who you are through your writing. It is one of the benefits of the whole process of writing. Through our characters, we can explore who we are and what makes us tick. This is one of the greatest things about being a writer. So, use it to your advantage.
Therefore, your identity and relationship to your boundaries are inextricably linked. Thus, take steps to determine who you are. Then start to assert who you are through your boundaries in real situations. Be consistent yet self-compassionate because this is a journey. However, as you keep asserting your boundaries, you will feel stronger, and you will be able to demanding that people give you what you need to not only survive but to thrive.
Try it!
Irene Roth
This is because your boundaries are about your identity. Unless you know your identity, you can’t know where you end and where another begins because you don’t quite know who you are.
Therefore, to set a boundary, you must understand and know what you need to be your best. In other words, you must understand who you are as a person, and all the unique shapes that make up your personality, values, and like as well as dislikes.
Most of us who have boundary issues have a difficult time figuring out these aspects about ourselves. We drift and flounder around. We believe we’re being violate by others and we are frustrated, but we don’t have enough resilience to stand up to the demands of others. This can cause a lot of difficulty for us when we are trying to assert our boundaries.
Here are a few steps you can utilize to get to know yourself more.
1. Ask yourself who you are and what you stand for. Your identity informs your values, and your values will inform your boundaries.
For example, if you know that you’re a kind and compassionate person, then you will probably ascertain that one of your values is to protect and care for animals. This may, in turn, tell you that one of your boundaries is that you won’t tolerate anyone hurting your pets.
Now if someone decides to kick your dog, you will tell them in no uncertain terms that nobody in this house hurts your dog and if they do it again, they will no longer be welcome into your home.
2. Get a clear idea of your identity and assert it in real situations. Also, prioritize your beliefs and values. For instance, if honesty is more important than charity, then assert that value more often. Then if someone continuously lies to you, you may have to make some important decisions about continuing the relationship.
3. Get into the habit of asserting your values with everyone. The more often you do it, the easier it will become. But expect it to be hard in the beginning. Just patiently persevere.
4. Part of being a writer is that you get to explore who you are through your writing. It is one of the benefits of the whole process of writing. Through our characters, we can explore who we are and what makes us tick. This is one of the greatest things about being a writer. So, use it to your advantage.
Therefore, your identity and relationship to your boundaries are inextricably linked. Thus, take steps to determine who you are. Then start to assert who you are through your boundaries in real situations. Be consistent yet self-compassionate because this is a journey. However, as you keep asserting your boundaries, you will feel stronger, and you will be able to demanding that people give you what you need to not only survive but to thrive.
Try it!
Irene Roth
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